How to get on

[Gordon21]

When I found out I was infected by herpes my world started crumbling, seriously. Just the thought of having a virus that will never go away devastated me. This is something that seriously affects how your sexual life will be, forever.

After some months of near-depression, I went online and found a few support groups.
I finally decided to meet with a couple of the groups and that gave me a whole new look on my situation.

There are so many of us, and herpes does not need to control our lives.

Get out, and meet up with people in the same situation. That is all that really helps!

Gordon

[AngelLVR]

I am new here, and honestly feel so lost, disgusting, and sad. I had unprotected sex one time about a month ago, and started having symptoms. I had my blood test today, but feel like I already know. I am dating a new person (with whom I have not had sex) and feel like I am now going to be doomed to a life that is all about "I have Herpes", and they will be out the door. I am so angry with myself, and hurting, to believe there are people out there who knowingly just have unprotected sex and infect others (this is someone I knew fairly well). Truly, I just feel like my sexuality has been stolen, and my life is over. I am so ashamed that there is no one I can honestly tell.

[helena81]

If it makes you feel any better, I have had other partners after my diagnosis was made and although the talk is kind of uncomfortable they still chose to be intimate with me afterward.  You aren't doomed to a life of celebacy.

[AmandaChristine]

Just so you know, you can still get herpes even if you use protection every single time you have sex. If the virus is present on the skin anywhere like on the thighs or pelvic area, a condom will not protect you from the herpes virus. Herpes is a reality that many, many people have to live with. 1 of every 5 adults has it. I just got diagnosed two days ago and I do not feel at all like this has ruined my life. Sure, it is going to make me more responsible in my sex life, but I dont see that as a bad thing. It is uncomfortable, painful, a little embarrassing, but thats life. Its not a death sentence...its not a punishment for being bad or doing dirty things. It is simply a virus. What happens when you get a cold? You pop some dayquil and you go on with your life. Chin up...tomorrow is a brand new day.

[Val_52909]

I was also recently diagnosed with genital herpes; yesterday to be exact. This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. The man I was with showed absolutely no signs, and he gets tested regularly. We always had protected sex, but having oral sex knocked that fact right out of the water since that is most likely how I contracted the virus. My flaw was that I did not ask all the right questions in the begining. He slept with a woman shortly after being tested, which everything came out negative. A couple of weeks later we met. I trusted him and therefore the questions never came up...until the sores began to show up. There are a lot of things that I regret. I fear that my relationship is ruined with him because he's in denial about himself. But people need to know that you dont have to have any symptoms if you have herpes, its different for everyone. His confidence in himself began to make me doubt myself. Im not promiscuous, I was a virgin before we had sex, but i cant help but feel disgusting. I feel like an embarrassment to my family, even though the say they still love me. I feel hopeless about my future relationships, and of course full of regret that the one and only person I have ever given myself to had to be infected with herpes. Some days im ok, others i cant stop crying. I dont know how im going to make it through this,  but i thank God everyday that its just herpes. I could have had AIDS or Cancer, were im greatful that i dont, but its still hard to cope with.
(p.S. just to make things clear, my symptoms showed up about two weeks ago, and with a little online research, I pretty much new it was herpes, but earlier this week I was tested and the results confirmed it yesterday.)

[dramat]

You spend a LOT of time at first worrying... If you're gonna give it to your partner, IS it gonna ruin your life, AM I gonna be able to get through this??? And the answer to all of these questions is simple. You just have to take it day by day. Herpes is NOT the end of your life. Heck, it's not even the end of your sexual activity. There are so many people out there that have genital Herpes, you may even be with someone who has it and you didn't know. Even if your partner doesn't have it, they will probably stay with you even though you have herpes. Honesty will take you a long way. Not that I can speak about being honest... I haven't even told my husband of OVER 8 years that I have had genital herpes since I was 12. When we first got together I noticed that he had cold sores, so I just never said anything. I think I am gonna tell him tonight though. We have found a love that is sooo overwhelming that I don't think even this news will break that apart. As lomg as I'm not cheating on him, he can handle pretty much anything I tell him. So, tonight is the night. Wish me luck...