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Creating
Choices
By: Amy Poe Beilach
Meaningful ever gets
forgotten. It can always be found in the heart and
mind of the receiving party. When one receives a
diagnosis of genital herpes it is
a meaningful event and one, most likely that will
involve many negative emotions. It is at the
crossroads of meaningful events that the
opportunity comes to create a choice. Most
decisions are made but some are created and
therein this event a person can create how they
will handle the life changing diagnosis of genital
herpes for the rest of their lives.
According to
philosopher Dr. Harrison Blackwood, “Life is
comprised of an equation where 95% of the
world’s population is inert.” People can become
inert and those who are may have the will to act
but do not unless moved upon by an external
force. In other words something that would call
a person to action would end the inertia. A
diagnosis of genital herpes will most certainly
be a call to action. Rushes of initial emotions
from anger to remorse to denial usually overtake
the recipient of the herpes diagnosis.
These people may make statements, promises and
life decisions that are totally unrealistic to
the person they truly are just because they now
have genital herpes. The problem with us all
being human is that if someone asks us “If you
could go back and live any day over again, what
would you do?” The overwhelming answer is always
to go back and fix something, as if they knew
precisely the moment when everything went wrong!
But as humans we know we cannot do this. We must
now live the role that has been written for us.
Please understand that all the world is not
entirely a stage and we are not merely players.
Who we are and what we do matters! Life is more
than a script and we are able to play many roles
but now genital herpes has been written into our
individual characters. With anger being the
utmost emotion after contracting genital herpes
please remember that hate has caused a lot of
problems in this world – and never solved one.
We have become a world that takes a pill and the
illness or condition is cured. The
realization that there is no “herpes
cure” hits us where we live and affects
our thinking and behavior. I encourage you not
to make any quick decisions after such a
traumatic and life changing event and give
yourself time to tune in to how you will let
genital herpes affect your life. Some people
think that the word N-E-W-S is an acronym for:
North, East, West and South. Interesting idea
however, not exactly true. But think! News does
come from all over the world but where does real
truth begin? Someplace else entirely, from
within of course! I urge you to look there when
you are making adjustments to living life with
herpes and not set yourself up for failure by
making promises that you cannot stick with. A
true adjustment would include understanding the
herpes virus more and realizing that, at
present, there is no cure for herpes. Education
about genital herpes will assist you in coming
to terms, accepting and forgiving yourself and
others involved so you will continue living your
full and rewarding life with genital herpes.
Dr. Blackwood completes his Social Equation as
follows “Of the 5% of the world’s population
that remains:
3% of those people
are predators (social, sexual, monetary)
1% of those are
Saints
1% of those are
the one’s who do what they set out to do.”
Not too many of us fit into the category of
“Saints.” The diagnosis of genital
herpes was the call to action that
ended our inertia and pushed us out of the
initial 95% inert category. That in turn gave us
the opportunity to fall into the 3% or the other
1% category. The decision is yours. I encourage
you to strive for the 1% category of “Those who
do what they set out to do” and recreate
ourselves making better and more life enhancing
decisions.
With this being said, enhancing the ability to
live with genital herpes and continue to live a
full and happy life resides within us. There are
also organizations with people who care and want
to assist. There are Online
Support Groups and ASHA
HELP Groups nationwide to assist you in meeting
others with herpes in a friendly confidential
environment. It is a bit scary the first time
you will go to a Help meeting or even remaining
anonymous speaking online in a support group
forum. Remember, every person must make a choice
about whether to spend their life standing in
the darkness and worry about all the bad and
uncertain things that might happen or stepping
into the light and living their life for the
good things that can still happen. Create
positive choices!
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