Dating Someone with Herpes
Has someone you’re dating revealed to you that they have herpes? Not sure what to do or where to go from here?
Here’s a bit of advice:
If you are not ready to take the risk yet then don’t.
Next keep in mind that you certainly do not have to sleep with this person anytime soon, so doing a little research to become more familiar with the topic is highly advised. Once you’ve done your own investigating into herpes and recognize the risk, you’ll be able to make a more informed decision as well as having taken the time to know whether this person is worth that risk or not.
The risk of contracting herpes is relatively high, even when dating within the general population, so that’s something you might want to consider. With as many as 90% of those who live with herpes not knowing they have it and possess the ability to transmit it, in some cases, you may be at lesser risk of contracting it from someone who knows they have it and recognize their symptoms and outbreaks completely.
There are ways in which the person who has herpes can help to reduce the risk of transmission to the non-infected partner such as proper condom use, abstaining from sexual activity during outbreaks and taking suppressive therapy Valtrex. Valtrex has been studied and has been found to reduce the risk of transmission by as much as 73%. That’s relatively high if you consider this person knows their body and can take all aspects of the virus into consideration when avoiding sexual activity that may pose greater risk.
One thing that MUST be considered when making your decisions is have you been properly tested? Not just the run of the mill STD screen, because those are not complete in most cases. Check with your doctor to see exactly what you have been tested for and request that you be tested with type specific herpes tests.
Once your results are back, you will know all details of the playing field and how best to approach this particular situation.
I’d strongly recommend never brushing off a relationship that could have rewarding potential on the grounds of a herpes infection alone. Had my husband done that, we’d never have gotten married and had the strong relationship we have today.
In the majority of cases I’ve seen, people who live with herpes and disclose this information to potential partners were not the ones who were deceptive when contracting it. In a large number of cases, these honest people are the ones who were deceived and should not be penalized further for having fallen victim to the desires to be loved.