Having the Herpes Talk


There’s something important I would like to talk to you about. It’s not terrible, just something that is important enough to me that I want to discuss it with you because I trust you.

In a previous relationship with someone I cared for very much, I discovered the relationship wasn’t as important to them as it was to me. Unfortunately, being monogamous was not as important to them as it was to me. And even more unfortunate was that during that time, this person contracted herpes and passed it on to me.

I am not sure how familiar you are with this particular virus, but I need you to be fully aware of the ramifications of this. The fact that it is a virus means it will always be with me and a part of who I am, although I can take medications to suppress it to the point where I don’t even know or feel like it’s there, there is no way to totally get rid of it. By controlling it as much as I can, I have the ability to reduce the risk of transmitting it, but I can never reduce that risk to zero.

Recent research indicates that with the use of an antiviral and with proper precautions, the risk can be as small as 3 to 4 percent, but it is still a risk. Much of the same research shows that as much as 1 in 4 adults have this and 90% of those don’t know it. I suppose in a way I feel fortunate enough to know what I have so I can deal with it.

What I would like for you to do is to have a clear understanding of this issue and to be able to make an informed decision that I promise to respect whether it’s good or bad. I won’t be angry if you should decide this is something you can’t deal with because honestly, I wish someone would have given me a decision. I suppose that’s the reason I feel strongly about giving you the choice.

If you would like to do more research before making your decision, I can provide you with websites to look at or even people to email that can answer any questions you may have. I don’t expect you to take my word for it since I am the one who would have too much to gain.

Points to Consider

The most important message for anyone who does not have herpes and is considering dating someone who does is that at least with the person who has herpes and knows it, you know the risk and can take preventative actions. Should you walk away from this possibility and go back into the dating scene, there are 60 million people out there, in America alone, who can also give you herpes infection and don’t have the reason to warn you because they are completely unaware they have it.

So in the overall scheme of things, you might just be more safe with the person who has had this talk with you than you are in the general dating market.


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