Creating Choices

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Creating Choices

By: Amy Poe Beilach

Meaningful ever gets forgotten. It can always be found in the heart and mind of the receiving party. When one receives a diagnosis of genital herpes it is a meaningful event and one, most likely that will involve many negative emotions. It is at the crossroads of meaningful events that the opportunity comes to create a choice. Most decisions are made but some are created and therein this event a person can create how they will handle the life changing diagnosis of genital herpes for the rest of their lives.

According to philosopher Dr. Harrison Blackwood, “Life is comprised of an equation where 95% of the world’s population is inert.” People can become inert and those who are may have the will to act but do not unless moved upon by an external force. In other words something that would call a person to action would end the inertia. A diagnosis of genital herpes will most certainly be a call to action. Rushes of initial emotions from anger to remorse to denial usually overtake the recipient of the herpes diagnosis. These people may make statements, promises and life decisions that are totally unrealistic to the person they truly are just because they now have genital herpes.

The problem with us all being human is that if someone asks us “If you could go back and live any day over again, what would you do?” The overwhelming answer is always to go back and fix something, as if they knew precisely the moment when everything went wrong! But as humans we know we cannot do this. We must now live the role that has been written for us.

Please understand that all the world is not entirely a stage and we are not merely players. Who we are and what we do matters! Life is more than a script and we are able to play many roles but now genital herpes has been written into our individual characters. With anger being the utmost emotion after contracting genital herpes please remember that hate has caused a lot of problems in this world – and never solved one.

We have become a world that takes a pill and the illness or condition is cured. The realization that there is no “herpes cure” hits us where we live and affects our thinking and behavior. I encourage you not to make any quick decisions after such a traumatic and life changing event and give yourself time to tune in to how you will let genital herpes affect your life. Some people think that the word N-E-W-S is an acronym for: North, East, West and South. Interesting idea however, not exactly true.

But think! News does come from all over the world but where does real truth begin? Someplace else entirely, from within of course! I urge you to look there when you are making adjustments to living life with herpes and not set yourself up for failure by making promises that you cannot stick with. A true adjustment would include understanding the herpes virus more and realizing that, at present, there is no cure for herpes. Education about genital herpes will assist you in coming to terms, accepting and forgiving yourself and others involved so you will continue living your full and rewarding life with genital herpes.

Dr. Blackwood completes his Social Equation as follows “Of the 5% of the world’s population that remains:

3% of those people are predators (social, sexual, monetary)

1% of those are Saints

1% of those are the one’s who do what they set out to do.”

Not too many of us fit into the category of “Saints.” The diagnosis of genital herpes was the call to action that ended our inertia and pushed us out of the initial 95% inert category. That in turn gave us the opportunity to fall into the 3% or the other 1% category. The decision is yours. I encourage you to strive for the 1% category of “Those who do what they set out to do” and recreate ourselves making better and more life enhancing decisions.

With this being said, enhancing the ability to live with genital herpes and continue to live a full and happy life resides within us. There are also organizations with people who care and want to assist. There are Online Support Groups and ASHA HELP Groups nationwide to assist you in meeting others with herpes in a friendly confidential environment. It is a bit scary the first time you will go to a Help meeting or even remaining anonymous speaking online in a support group forum.

Remember, every person must make a choice about whether to spend their life standing in the darkness and worry about all the bad and uncertain things that might happen or stepping into the light and living their life for the good things that can still happen. Create positive choices!

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