Sexuality - Frequently Asked Questions

What exactly does "having sex" include?

"Having sex" is not just "intercourse". It can refer to intimacy or closeness between a man and a woman, between two men or between two women. "Having sex" doesn't just mean when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina.

What is vaginal sex?

Vaginal sex usually means having a man's penis placed inside a woman's vagina.

What is oral sex?

Oral sex means one person placing his or her mouth on another person's genitals (penis, vagina or anus).

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is usually when a man's penis is place inside someone else's anus, or butt hole.

What's the best type of protection for sex?

If you choose to have sex, latex condoms give you the best protection because they are barriers - something that keeps you away from your boyfriend's or girlfriend's bodily fluids. Other birth control methods only provide protection from unwanted pregnancy. Using a condom Is NOT 100% safe against pregnancy or STDs, only abstinence is, but it offers the best protection from STDs and some protection from pregnancy if you do have sex. The best protection is to use birth control pills or depo provera (birth control shot for women) to prevent pregnancy AND latex condoms to protect against STDs.

What is a dental dam?

A dental dam is a flat piece of latex that is used during dental procedures. They can be purchased in some medical supply stores or in some adult bookstores. They can be used as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina or anus during oral sex. Household plastic wrap or a split and flattened, un-lubricated condom can also be used if you don't have dental dam.

If I take birth control pills, do we still need to use condoms?

Absolutely! Birth control pills are prescribed only to prevent pregnancy. They do not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

How do you use condoms?

• The penis should be erect (hard) and the condom should be put on before the penis touches the vagina, mouth or anus.

• Carefully open the condom packet-don't use your teeth, fingernails or anything sharp so you don't nick the condom-and remove the rolled up condom.

• Most condoms have a nipple-shaped end on it. Pinch that together to squeeze out the air before placing the condom on the head of the erect penis. This is the tip where the semen will go when the male partner ejaculates (comes) after his orgasm.

• Carefully roll the condom down the erect (hard) penis. If the condom will not roll, then it's not turned the right way. Throw it away and start over. Do not unroll and then re-roll a condom.
   

• The unrolled condom should cover the majority of the penis shaft. Check for air bubbles and squeeze them out before the covered penis is inserted.

• When intercourse is complete, hold the condom securely at the base of the penis and withdraw before the penis goes soft. Holding the condom prevents it from slipping or spilling.

• Throw the condom away after it's been used. Never reuse a condom.

• Always use a new condom for each sexual act.

WARNING:  Human error causes more condom failure than manufacturing errors.

How do I get tested for STDs?

There are many different tests for each of the different STDs. There is not one test that will screen for all STDs. Some STDs are hard to test for if you do not have any symptoms.  *see Testing for more information*  Some STDs can be tested through simple blood work or a urine test; some can only be tested for through culturing body fluid from the penis, vagina or open sore on the body. If you go in for testing, it is important to ask your health care provider which tests will be done and which will not. Sometimes weeks or months need to pass to give your body enough time to develop antibodies that will show up in a test.

Where do I go to get tested?

Your local health department, community clinic, private doctor or Planned Parenthood are all good locations to contact for STD testing. The CDC National STD and AIDS Hotlines can look up free or low cost clinics in your area that do STD testing. You can call them at 1 (800) 227-8922 or 1 (800) 342-2437, seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

What's the difference between confidential and anonymous testing?

All medical care that you receive should be confidential. This means that the information you discuss with your health care providers must stay in your files at the clinic and not be released to anyone without your permission.

Anonymous testing is when your name is not associated with the test or the results in any way. You may be given a number or code word to identify yourself during testing and when receiving results. This is not widely available any longer.

Do my parents have to find out?

This varies a lot from state to state. Some clinics will see you without your parents' permission and some will not. If you are concerned about this, ask your clinic when making your appointment. Ask if you need to bring your parent along for permission and what information the clinic will share with them. This way you know exactly what to expect ahead of time.