There’s something important I would like to talk to you
about. It’s not terrible, just something that is
important enough to me that I want to discuss it with
you because I trust you.
In a previous relationship with someone I cared for very
much, I discovered the relationship wasn’t as important
to them as it was to me. Unfortunately, being
monogamous was not as important to them as it was to
me. And even more unfortunate was that during that
time, this person contracted herpes and passed it on to
me.
I am not sure how familiar you are with this particular
virus, but I need you to be fully aware of the
ramifications of this. The fact that it is a virus
means it will always be with me and a part of who I am,
although I can take medications to suppress it to the
point where I don’t even know or feel like it’s there,
there is no way to totally get rid of it. By
controlling it as much as I can, I have the ability to
reduce the risk of transmitting it, but I can never
reduce that risk to zero.
Recent research indicates that with the use of an antiviral
and with proper precautions, the risk can be as small as
3 to 4 percent, but it is still a risk. Much of the
same research shows that as much as 1 in 4 adults have
this and 90% of those don’t know it. I suppose in a way
I feel fortunate enough to know what I have so I can
deal with it.
What I would like for you to do is to have a clear
understanding of this issue and to be able to make an
informed decision that I promise to respect whether it’s
good or bad. I won’t be angry if you should decide this
is something you can’t deal with because honestly, I
wish someone would have given me a decision. I suppose
that’s the reason I feel strongly about giving you the
choice.
If you would like to do more research before making your
decision, I can provide you with websites to look at or
even people to email that can answer any questions you
may have. I don’t expect you to take my word for it
since I am the one who would have too much to gain.
The most important message for anyone who does not have
herpes and is considering dating someone who does is
that at least with the person who has herpes and knows
it, you know the risk and can take preventative
actions. Should you walk away from this possibility and
go back into the dating scene, there are 60 million
people out there, in
America
alone, who can also give you herpes and don’t have the
reason to warn you because they are completely unaware
they have it.
So in the overall scheme of things, you might just be more
safe with the person who has had this talk with you than
you are in the general dating market.
Helping
Build The Bridge To STD Awareness